Monday, October 26, 2009

Career Counseling

We arrived at the scene of the "wreck" on the highway. Among other things we found, was an extra car. And inside was a woman passed out in the drivers seat, car in gear, foot on the break and the engine running. This particular car had nothing to do with the accident, she had just pulled over and passed out.

Did I mention she was almost naked? And not a good naked either, no it was a "I'm so drunk I've thrown up all over myself" kind of naked. Just for the record, why do manufactures insist on making thongs in a size 3 XL? I mean they have to know that someone is going to wear them and then end up drunk, almost naked and a poor unsuspecting firefighter will be forced to see it.

Wrong, just wrong.

So as the young cop is handcuffing the drunk, nasty, topless female in the 3xl thong, we spoke to him.

I said "You know, when you dreamed of being a cop, this is what you were thinking about wasn't it? The girls, in tiny thongs showing you their tits? You're living the dream aren't you?"

He shuddered and scrunched his eyes closed.

My fire fighter said "There's still time, take the test, you can be a fireman in a few months."

The cop looks at us and says "Yeah, but you guys had to see it too."

I said "Yeah, but she's riding in your car, not mine." as we got on the fire truck.

Just trying to help folks, that's what I do.

Mr Fixit


Starik Igolkin said...

I should know better than to read your blog while eating breakfast. Thanks for the good morning laugh.

Anonymous said...

In my years on the job, I saw a number of things I wish I hadn't, and not all of them involved trauma.

PA State Cop said...

Ran a crash with a lady we transported. Problem was the Pup she left in the car. The Local LEO sees me heading for his car with the Mop in hand and started yelling at me. Didn't catch me before I put the little guy in the back seat of the cruiser. Last I saw of the little guy he was parked on the back deck of the cruiser. Sorry Scott, You had to see that one coming. ;)

TOTWTYTR said...

I can't think of even one "naked lady" call in 30 years that wasn't totally disgusting. If they're not nucking futs, they're 3XL or their covered in puke or feces. Or all of the above.

THIS is the type of call we need CISD for!

Shaky said...

damn....drunk and unconscious around here means they go in the ambulance, not the car. I hate that.