Keep in mind that I like cops. I really do. I am related to several. It's just that, well, we couldn't do this stuff to each other.....
One of the local officers drops by the fire station quite a bit. He's nice enough. I guess on your lunch break you just like to sit in a real chair. Or maybe the other cops wouldn't think to look for him at the fire station. Maybe he just wanted to be a fireman.
Actually, I think it is because our toilets are cleaner than the local gas stations. That must be it 'cause he comes in and "uses the facilities" often. He's smart enough not to take his gun belt off before he goes in though.
Picture this; An older fire station restroom with 3 toilets and one urinal on one wall. They have dividers between them, but they are "homemade", not what you would find in a newer building. No, these dividers are made of plywood and the bottom is about 18 inches above the floor. Not only that, but they are a bit snug side to side. The result is that when one sits down to do his duty, and feels the need to "spread out" his feet often end up in the next stall.
(Larry Craig is not allowed to use our facilities)
But hey, they are clean!
So, comic masterminds that we are, we hatch this plan...
When our good friend the cop comes in, 2 of our guys go to the bathroom and occupy the last 2 stalls, leaving only the urinal and the adjacent stall open. Our friend comes in, and is forced to take the empty stall. The gun belt is hung behind the door, the pants are around the ankles.
Now, the third guy comes in and stands at the urinal. But with him he has a large (like half gallon) bottle of water with a squirt top. He stands at the urinal, and tries to strike up a conversation with the cop. As he is squirting the water into the urinal (to make the sounds) he turns his feet to the cop as he is talking to him, "accidentally" getting a little water on the floor. Of course the cop moves to avoid. Our guy jumps and says sorry. Then he starts in the urinal again. And again he turns while talking, this time hitting the cops shoes, the floor, the shoes again.
You know I'm really surprised that they hire cops with such foul mouths. And the threats.
At that point, our guy flushes, walks out to the bay, we all get on the engine and leave.
We're starting to get worried about our cop. He hasn't come by to visit in several shifts. We all hope nothing has happened to him.