Friday, June 22, 2007

A Note To the Women Folk ...


Guys, back me up on this; Ladies, we hate the phone.

It's not so much that we hate it, we just hate it interrupting what we're doing. See, it's a tool to use, when we need to. Need being the operative word. And ladies, I'll tell you a little secret; We don't like talking to you on it. I didn't say we don't like talking to you. I said we don't like talking to you on the phone.

If you call with important information that can't wait until you get home, we will be all ears. But important information doesn't mean things like possible divorces (unless our own), neat things you saw while driving, or that thing you couldn't remember last night you wanted to tell me.

Important information is stuff like you're broke down and need assistance, or you found a motorcycle or bass boat for sale. Important information could be that somebody is looking for me. Important is that you're on your way home and looking forward to a lil' something from the loving department.

Just calling to chat is not important, to a guy. Read that again. Calling to tell me you were thinking about me, while nice, is not important. Tell me you thought about me when you see me, I'll be just as happy. We don't need to talk every hour. Heck, I could go most of the day. We'll catch up later when were together. When the phone rings, and I have to wash the grease/dirt whatever off my hands just to answer it, and all I get is "What are you doing?", please don't get upset if I answer "Trying to work if I weren't on the damn phone."

There are people we might not talk to in years, and then when we need to, we call them. Our conversation might go something like this:
Hey, it's Mr Fixit, how are you?
Good man, haven't heard from you in like a year. What can I do for you?
Do you still have that Ford 302 Boss engine?
Yeah, you need it?
Yes I do.
Come by and get it then.

Short, quick and to the point.

Ladies, we love you. We really do. And we love talking to you when you are with us. But we hate talking on the phone unless we have to. And if we do, the shorter the conversation the better.

Come on, surely I'm not the only antisocial asshole with this opinion.

Am I?

Mr Fixit


Ambulance Driver said...

"Come on, surely I'm not the only antisocial asshole with this opinion.

Am I?"

Nope, it includes pretty much everyone with a Y chromosome.

Brandon said...

Nope, you're not alone.

TD said...

I'm surely an antisocial asshole, and I hate phones with a passion.

Maserati said...

I got you on this one Dawg.

BobG said...

I hate telephones. I have a cell phone I got right after my heart attack, but I keep it turned off. It is for me to use in emergency, not for everyone else to use as a leash.

Blue Ridge Medic said...

I agree totally, just don't let my wife know I said that...hahaha!


Randy S said...

Definitely not alone. So glad to know that I'M not alone here.

Sean said...

Hi, I'm Sean, and I hate the telephone. I'm an antisocial asshole.

Mark said...

I'm thinking about nails and a hammer. :)

Chris in SE TX said...

Damn, I hope I'm NOT A GIRL!!!!

... (quick look inside pants) ...

THANK GOD, still a guy! (don't EVEN ask me to check if I'm gay; I don't know what that test would be, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to take it!)

Seriously, for me it depends on what I'm doing. I don't like being interrupted by a phone. Many times I will not answer it. But I've been known to initiate a call and spend over 60 minutes talking to a friend, sister, dad, whatever....

(oh, yeah, I forgot: I DO like it when my wife calls me to tell me she loves me or misses me while at work) Do I need to turn in my equipment now?

Strings said...

Well... there are folks i don't mind talking to on the phone for a fair stretch. Mostly, they're people I don't get to see that often. Or, I might call someone to talk if I'm stuck driving long distance (and need somebody to keep me awake)...

Spoon used to pull one that drove me nuts: she'd have me call her every night, we'd exchange whatever news there was (I was working out of town at the time), then there'd be silence. But when I'd try to hang up, she'd insist on staying on the phone: she just wanted to have my attention. She doesn't do that very often anymore, but ye gawds was it irritating!