Friday, April 13, 2007

Batter Up!

Yet another true story:

The ambulance I am on gets a call to a house for an "Injured person". This could mean anything from a hangnail that hurts, to having been crushed when your car fell off the jack stands with you under it.

This time, it turns out it is for a stabbing. The patient is a male in his mid thirties. We find him laying on the front porch with a nice goose egg on his right temple, and about one hundred stab wounds all over his body. Yes, I said one hundred. It may have been eighty-five, but you get the idea. They are all small, about on-half inch long and none of them look very deep. He is breathing fine, although he is dazed. No doubt from the goose egg sized swelling over his right eye.

We package him and do all the precautionary things, IV's, O2, vitals, bandage the wounds. Well actually I just lay gauze over the ones that were bleeding, which wasn't many. A police officer followed us with intentions of holding the patient in custody. As we drive, I try to get the history of what happened.

It seems our patient was a parolee from prison. He had been out a while, and was living with a woman and her son (not his) who he was not married to. The son was about 13. It seems that our patient had a problem with finding work. The problem being he wasn't looking for any. So, he would beg and steal money from his female companion to by his beer and cigarettes and other such things as he felt he needed. The female got tired of "his lazy ass taking my money", and told him he could have no more money until he got a job. This was unacceptable to him, so he grabbed a kitchen knife and began to chase the female around the house threatening harm with the knife.

Now, the 13 year old son did not take kindly to "that bastard" treating his dear mother in such a way. Coupled with the fact that he had not been as nice as one might want to the son in the past, the son decided that enough was enough. The son retrieved his wooden Louisville Slugger baseball bat from his room. He then stood just inside the doorway from the living room into the kitchen. When mom ran through the doorway, he started his swing. He put his shoulder down and in his best Babe Ruth impression planted the bat into the head of "that bastard", knocking him unconscious. When mom heard the crack of the bat, and the thud of the body onto the floor, she turned, retrieved the knife, and proceeded to puncture "his lazy ass" until the police arrived.

I understand he was returned to State of Texas for continued housing.

I love a happy ending.


Kaerius said...

Haha, nicely done by the boy there.

When I started reading, I was expecting something like it turning out he'd lined up a bunch of bottles and smashed them with his bat and then fell and knocked himself out from surprise when he got a bunch of cuts...

But the truth beats my imagination, this time.

Ambulance Driver said...

Heh heh heh...I'd have laughed myself silly had I been there.

Strings said...

I have to ask: how do you NOT laugh your ass off when arriving at a scene like that, and finding out the circumstances? I wouldn't be able to help myself!

Mr. Fixit said...

Well Strings, I did laugh my ass off. I couldn't help it as you might well imagine. He kept looking up through the haze and swirl of his concussion to say "Man this ain't funny." To which we replied "Oh it really is."

BobG said...

Kudos to the kid.

TD said...

Hey, I was going to comment on your Glock post but comments seem to be disabled.

On the Glocks I've used, the circled area came polished from the factory, and the area where the barrel hood rubs tends to get shiny from use. I don't think that polishing those spots would make any difference, positive or negative. Some guys just can't leave well enough alone, I guess.